HOLIDAY SING ALONG
WITH PLANET WASHINGTON

With Ken Rynne & the Gang
THE CAPITAL’S FUNNIEST, SMARTEST,
BIPARTISAN MUSICAL POLITICAL COMEDY SENSATION!

WARNING TO THE HUMOR IMPAIRED: CONTAINS PARODY, MAY CAUSE UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER & GLEE. IF CONDITION PERSISTS FOR MORE THAN 4 HOURS, WATCH FOX TV.

IT’S PLANET WASHINGTON!

Hooray For Hollywood Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
FULL CHOIR SINGS (RED STATERS, BLUE STATERS, PURPLE STATERS TOO)
It’s Planet Washington! Your nation’s capital, It’s Washington.
Where any intern or a senior member, can make the press whir,
With just one thong don’t ya know. And any body from any lobby,
Can make a lot of new friends, if he has dough.

It’s Planet Washington! Where you’re terrific, until you’re undone.
Where big time White House staff are so excited, ‘til they’re indicted,
To join in all of the fun. Come on, step up and try,
Best Congress you can buy, in Planet Washington.
It’s Planet Washington! “Showbiz for ugly people,” Washington.
They come from east & west, from red and blue states, big shots & cheap Skates, to see themselves on TV. All armed with speeches, and press Releases, with hair all nicely quaffed, and big smiles to see.

It’s Planet Washington! That phony, seen on Sony™, Washington.
We give you Air & Space and come October, if you’re still sober,
Come see The Supreme’s Revue. Eight men & a lady,
In choir robes baby, Tell Dubya what he can’t do.

It’s Planet Washington! We take no pris’ners but it’s just for fun.
Come join as we explore the few square square miles, that yield such smiles, where all your tax dollars go (Thank you!). Let go your strife,
search for intelligent life (Good Luck!) on Planet Washington!

BARACK OBAMA SUPERSTAR!

(Live Pre-election Performance in Maryland)
Mellow Yellow Parody By Ken Rynne © 2006 Brighton Productions
In the 2006 Maryland Senate race, Democratic nominee Ben Cardin described himself as suffering from a “charisma deficit.” So Mr. Cardin wisely brought in the junior senator from Illinois, Barack Obama, for a political personality transplant – or at least – a bypass.
FOR DEMOCRATS NOT FROM NEW YORK OR ARKANSAS, AND OTHERS
I’m just bored with Ben Cardin, Ben Cardin’s boring to me. Ben Cardin’s bored…with Ben Cardin, We need charisma, please! They call Barack Obama (Quite right)…I'm just bored with my party, My party’s boring to me. Bill Clinton livened the party, Bring back Ms. Lewinsky. Or call Barack Obama (Quite right)…Bill Clinton’s poking Chris Wallace, That’s just dandy with me. Hillary is fighting with Condi…It’s a “Pols Gone Wild” DVD. Please call Barack Obama (Quite right)…
They love him on New York’s West Side…
“ Maria” from West Side Story Parody By Ken Rynne© 2006 Brighton Productions
Obama, I just met a guy named Obama, And suddenly that name,
Will never be the same to me. Obama,not to be confused with…Osama.
And they love him out in “Brokeback” country…
“ Maria” from Paint Your Wagon Parody By Ken Rynne © 2006 Brighton Productions
Away out here they got a name, For money, press, and power,
The money’s swag, the press is spin, And they call the power…Obama.
In Miami Beach and out West in Zip Code 90210 with Mel Gibson & friends…
Hava Nagila Parody By Ken Rynne © 2006 Brighton Productions
Barack Obama, Barack Obama, Tall as a Llama. Such a Campaign! Oi!
And with the young people, he’s the bomb…
Bandstand Boogie Theme Parody By Ken Rynne © 2006 Brighton Productions
Were goin hoppin, Were goin hoppin today, Where things are poppin, The tight election time way, Were gonna drop in, On all the spinning today With Obama.(Bama)Were goin to swing states, Were gonna swing in the crowd, And we’ll be clingin, To polls as high as a cloud,The phones are ringin, My mom and dad are so proud of Obama. (Bama) And I’ll jump, and hey,I may even show ‘em my karma, Because I’m with, Because I am with Oh! Barack Obama. When we spin real slow, I’ll show all the guys on the farm-a, What a swinger I am, cause I’m with Oh! Barack Obama. And well rock and roll and stroll with Obama. Lindy hop with the Dalai Lama. Tune in, I’m on, Turn on, I’m in, I’m with Obama!
And finally…
“ Maria” from The Sound of Music Parody By Ken Rynne © 2006 Brighton Productions
How do you solve a problem like Obama? How do you hold a rock star in your hand?
For Extra Credit
“ Hakuna Matata” from The Lion King Parody By Ken Rynne © 2006 Brighton Productions
He’s our problem-free, philosophy, Barack Obama. Barack Obama, Barack Obama…

Here Comes Santa Claus (Through Airport Security)

Here Comes Santa Claus Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
FULL CHOIR SINGS
Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus, through airport security.
North Pole Airport TSA will rush him on his way.
Take off your boots, belt, pens and fillings, all is merry and bright.
Run them through the x-ray scan, hope Santa makes his flight.
Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus, on the red-eye from LA.
His carry-on bag had a new toy gun the policeman took away.
He got up to stretch his old legs as the plane was approaching DC,
The air marshal neutralized the threat, that’s the last of Claus we’ll see!

G-O-P TOWN OF WASHINGTON

O Little Town of Bethlehem Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(REPUBLICANS & OTHER PATRIOTS SING)
O Little town of Washington, How often we’ve heard thee lie,
With all the press, amid the stress, too often the truth slips by.
Yet down from K Street spreadeth, An even greater fright,
The lobbyists are switching funds to Democrats tonight.
For Democrats are rising now, the House to occupy,
And they control the Senate too, Republicans do sigh.
They’ll “Cut and Run,” and at home you know they’ll “Tax and Spend.”
And all the tax breaks for the rich. They’ll “Rangle,” then they’ll end.
Arise thou right wing media, expose them now we pray,
Their fam’ly values will mandate that we be bright and gay.
Free health care for the masses, From Ms. Pelosi’s hand.
With free prescriptions, and research from Hill’ry’s stem cell stand.
O little town of Washington, some day we’ll rescue thee,
the White House we still hold, and we still have our FOX TV.
Bill O’Reilly and Ann Coulter, Will fight to keep us free,
And in two years, hang on my dears, We’ll regain the majority.

“DENNY HASTERT’S COMING TO TOWN”

Santa Claus is Coming to Town Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions

(DEMOCRATS, INDEPENDENTS, & AGNOSTICS SING)
You better watch out; you better not cry;
Better not pout; I’ll e-mail you why:
Denny Hastert’s coming to town.
He’s making a list and checking it twice,
Gonna forget out who’s naughty and nice;
Denny Hastert’s coming to town
He doesn’t see you sleepin’;
Or know if you’re awake;
Or know if you’ve been bad or good,
“ I know noth-ing!” is his take.
Oh! You better watch out, you better not cry,
Better not pout I’ll e-mail you why;
Denny Hastert’s Coming to Town.

ROBO-CALLING UNDECIDED VOTES

Winter Wonderland Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(FULL CHOIR, ALL SING)
Cell phones ring are you listening. In the race, foreheads glistening.
A beautiful sight we're happy tonight, Robo-calling undecided votes.
Gone away is the old ad, here to stay’s our attack ad.
We sing the same song, as we go along, Robo-calling undecided votes.
In the message we destroy their snowman,
Then pretend that we’re with Parson Brown.
If they ask if we are with the Parson?,
We’ll duck,andact like Rove, and then leave town.
Later on we'll conspire, as we hand out more fliers.
To face unafraid, allegations we've made,
robo-calling undecided votes.
In the message we destroy their snowman
Suggest that he was once a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman
Then watch the TV pundits knock him down
When it works ain't it thrillin’, Later on we’ll be chillin.’
We'll frolic and play, these dirty tricks pay,
for time-shares in a winter wonderland
Robo-calling undecided votes. (“Harold, call me!”)

“GOD REST YE MERRY DEMOCRATS”

God Rest Ye Merry Democrats Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(DEMOCRATS & OTHERS SING)
God Rest Ye Merry Democrats Let Nothing You Dismay.
Remember that the ballot box is just two years away.
To save us all from W’s power. Live free without “Delay.”
Oh Oh tidings of comfort & joy, Comfort & joy,
Oh Oh tidings of comfort & joy.
At West Point & Annapolis, the President got hoarse.
He visits only soldier groups, while saying “Stay the Course.”
But voters now think that he is the south end of a horse.
Oh Oh tidings of comfort & joy, Comfort & joy,
Oh Oh tidings of comfort & joy.
From CEO Dick Cheney a blessed angel came.
Got caught leaking & lying and Scooter was his name,
Indicted one, with more to come, the neo-cons in “Flames.”
Oh Oh tidings of comfort & joy, Comfort & joy. Oh tidings of comfort & joy.

DO YOU HEAR WHO I SMEAR?

Do You Hear What I Hear Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(DEMS AND CIVIL LIBERTIES FANS SING)
Said Dick Cheney to the Scooter boy, Do you hear what I hear?
Something from McLean, Scooter boy, Do you hear what I hear?
We lied, we lied, the guy who said we lied, Joseph Wilson said that we lied,
Joseph Wilson has something to hide.
Said two White House aides to six DC scribes, Do you hear who I smear?
Joseph Wilson says that we lied, Do you hear who I smeared?
His wife named Flame, His wife is now fair game
Wilson’s wife named Flame is fair game,
Wilson’s wife named Plame of Flame is fair game.
Said the Boy Genius to the Hardball Guy, Listen to what I say.
Valerie, Plame is now fair game, listen to what I say.
A spy, a spy, sent this Wilson guy to Niger to root out a lie.
His wife the spy sent Wilson to lie.
Said Bob Novak to people everywhere, Listen to what I write.
Joe Wilson’s report is total bunk, Listen to what I write.
His wife’s a spy. Her identity’s a lie.
Ergo, Wilson’s word is a lie. She’s a spy and so he must lie.
Said the spin-cyclers at the Bush White House, Listen to Bob Novak.
The real story’s not the sixteen words, listen to Bob Novak.
He lied, He lied, He’s from the other side,
And his wife is on the inside, She’s a spy, she lied, she’s his bride.
Said the Grand Jury unto Patrick Fitz, Listen to what we find.
The wheels off Cheney’s scooter flew, Listen to what we find.
He lied, He lied, We think that Scooter lied, And perhaps more lies lie inside
After midterms there’s less chance to hide,
After midterms the White House … is fried.

“TONY SNOW!, TONY SNOW!, TONY SNOW!”

Let It Snow Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(THE FIRST FAMILY & BIPARTISAN FRIENDS SING)
Oh the media buzz is frightful,
But our spin is so delightful,
And since we’ve no place to go,
Tony Snow, Tony Snow, Tony Snow!
It doesn’t show signs of stopping,
And my dear, your polls are dropping,
The klieg lights are turned down low,
Tony Snow, Tony Snow, Tony Snow!
When we finally bomb Iran,
How I’ll hate the big media storm.
And if we only “Stay the Course,”
The pesky reporters will swarm.
Now your ratings are slowly dying,
In two years we’ll be good-bying,
To press Cof’rences we won’t go,
Tony Snow, Tony Snow, Tony Snow!

"I'll Be Home This Christmas"

I’ll Be Home For Christmas Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(RECENTLY OUTSOURCED GOP MEMBERS & BIPARTISAN FRIENDS SING)
I'll be home this Christmas;
You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents on the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me
Where my home district gleams.
I'll be home this Christmas
Cause my campaign ran out of steam.
… And presents on the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me
Where my home district gleams.
I'll be home for Christmas
Cause there’s a Democratic regime.

“NANCY PELOSI’S COMING TO TOWN”

Santa Claus is Coming to Town Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(REPUBLICANS, INDEPENDENTS & AGNOSTICS SING)
You better watch out; you better not cry; Better not pout; I’ll e-mail you why: Nancy Pelosi’s coming to town
She’s making a list and checking it twice, Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice; Nancy Pelosi’s coming to town.
She comes from San Francisco; The land of fruits and grapes;
She’ll issue up subpoenas, After measuring for drapes
Oh! You better watch out, you better not cry, Better not pout I’ll e-mail you why; Nancy Pelosi’s coming to town.

“O COME, COME EMANUEL”

O Come All Ye Faithful Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(DEMOCRATS AND ALL TRUE POLITICOS COME WORSHIP, ER, SING)
O Come, Come Rahm Emanuel
And ransom captive Capitol Hill
The Democrats were exiled from here
Until this son of Illinos appeared.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emanuel
Restore us, make our numbers swell.
O Come, recruit good candidates, free
Your own from neo-con tyranny.
From simple slogans your people save
And give them vict’ry o’er the K Street grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emanuel
Restore us, make our numbers swell.
O Come, with funds and issues, cheer
Our spirits by your victories here
Agents of change we’ll be in the fight
Without Delay let’s start to set things right.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emanuel
Bipartisan reform, will make all well.

O COME, COME RAHM EMANUEL

O Come All Ye Faithful Parody By Ken Rynne ©2006 Brighton Productions
DEMOCRATS AND POLITICOS COME WORSHIP, ER, SING
O Come, Come Rahm Emanuel, And ransom captive Capitol Hill
The Democrats were exiled from here, Until this son of Illinois appeared.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emanuel. Restore us, make our numbers swell.
O Come, recruit good candidates, free, Your own from neo-con tyranny.
From scary slogans your people save, And give them vict’ry o’er the K Street grave.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emanuel. Restore us, make our numbers swell.
O Come, with funds and issues, cheer, Our spirits by your victories here.
Agents of change we’ll be in the fight, Without Delay let’s start to set things right.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emanuel. Bipartisan reform, will make all well.

“JINGLE BELLS $3.89”

Jingle Bells Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(FULL CHOIR, ALL SING)
Dashing through the snow, In a one-horse open sleigh;
O’er the fields we go, Laughing all the way.
Bells on bobtail ring, Making spirits bright;
What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight.
Oh! jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way;
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells,jingle all the way;
We can’t afford to fuel our car, so we’re freezing in this sleigh.

“I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA Claus (TODAY! ON OPRAH!)“

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Parody By Ken Rynne
© 2006 Brighton Productions
(ATTORNEYS SING DESIGNATED LINES. MERE MORTALS (I.E., CLIENTS) SING BOLD LINES)
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
Lawyer #1 Where was the kissing? Lawyer #2 The alleged kissing?
#1 How dark was it last night? Was there a full moon?
#2 What was the approximate distance from the mistletoe to your vantage point?
#1 What precisely did you see? #2 How far past your bedtime was it?
She didn’t see me creep down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep

#2: Objection, Heresay! Who knows what “mommy thought.”
#1: Goes to his state of mind #1: This is a Chrristmas Carol
#2: But you admit your client is a peeper #2 Did the scene titillate you?
#1 Don’t answer that!
Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
#2. If you were so traumatized, how long did you remain “peeping?”
#1 My client was in a state of shock.
#2 Well, Tickle me Elmo! #1 Let’s not get personal. And my name is Irwin.

Oh, what a laugh it would have been
#2 What a laugh? Do you think this is a laughing matter? I don’t hear anyone laughing,
#1 Well, this IS a CD - not a live show.
#2 You are recording this?!
if Daddy had only seen

#2 Daddy? Whose Daddy?
#1. Objection, argumentative.
#2 Was this “Daddy” aware of Mommy’s dalliance with Mr. Claus?
#1. Objection. That’s so tacky.
#2 Is the Dept of Families and Children aware of this revolving door at Mommy’s?
#1 Mommy has admitted she has issues and has checked into a reknowned rehab.
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night. Last night last night last night
#2 Tickle me Irwin! #1 I’ll see you in court.
#2 I’ll see you on Oprah! #1 I’ll see you on Springer!
1 Jer-ry Jer-ry Jer-ry…Hand over the Play Station 3 and nobody gets hurt!

The Whipped ‘n Pooped Song

The Whiffenpoof Song Parody By Ken Rynne (Recorded Live 11/5/06)
© 2006 Brighton Proiductions
DEMS & ALL SING:
To the tables down in Rayburn, To the place where Karl Rove dwells
To the Capitol Hill Club bar we love so well.
Spin the Whipped ‘n Pooped assembled with their glasses raised on high.And the magic of their spinning casts its spell.
Yes, the magic of their spinning of the themes we loved so well
“ Stay The Course” and “Cut N’ Run” and the rest
We will serenade the media while voice and life shall last
Then we’ll pass and be forgotten with the rest
We are poor neo-cons who have lost our way. Blah, blah, blah.
Like macaca sheep who have gone astray, Blah, blah, blah.
Gentleman pundits off on a spree, Thought we’d rule for eternity
But Dubya’s luck has rubbed off on we (sic), Blah, blah, blah.

“A Charlie Brown Congress”

Christmas Time Is Here from A Charlie Brown Christmas Parody
By Ken Rynne ©2006 Brighton Productions
(FULL CHOIR SINGS)
A new Congress is here, happiness and cheer, fun for all, that all Members call, their favorite time of year.
Healing in the air, statesmen everywhere, olden times and ancient rhymes and love and dreams to share.
Sleigh bells in the air; beauty every where; yuletide by the fireside and bipartisanship there.
A new Congress is here; we’ll be drawing near; oh that we could always see such spirit through the year.

Auld Lang Syne Parody

By Ken Rynne ©2006 Brighton Productions
(FULL CHOIR SINGS)
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear, For auld lang syne.
We’ll take a cup o kindness yet, For auld lang syne.
Goodnight Nancy. Goodnight Denny.
Goodnight Steny. Goodnight Johnny.
Goodnight Harry. Goodnight Mitch.
Goodnight Rahm. Goodnight Tom
Goodnight Chuck. Goodnight Liddy.
Goodnight Howard. Goodnight Mellman.
Mellman? Mellman?? Mell –Man!!!
Hey, where’s Rummy? (And the rubber sw(n is mine!)

The Last Song on This CD

Parody of Goodbye! (The Producers) (Recorded Live 11/5/06)
By Ken Rynne ©2006 Brighton Productions
THANKS FOR COMING TO WASHINGTON SAD TO TELL YOU WE GOT TO RUN
GRAB YOUR CELL AND HEAD FOR THE DOOR
IN CASE YOU DIDN’T NOTICE, THERE AIN’T ANY MORE
IF YOU LIKE OUR PLANET TELL EV’RYONE BUT…
IF YOU THINK IT STINKS KEEP YOU BIG MOUTH SHUT
WE’RE GLAD YOU CAME BUT WE HAVE TO SHOUT,
ADIOS, AU REVOIR, WIEDERSHEN, TA-TA-TA,
GOODBYE, GET LOST, GET OUT!
Bonus track:
Preview of our next CD
THE FIRST HUNDRED RECESSES!
WE CAN’T WAIT ‘TIL 2008!
BARACK OBAMA (LIVE)
HILLARY, THE LAST FIRST LADY!